otago massacre


news watch 16/07/2009 by ophalm
July 16, 2009, 6:00 am
Filed under: entertainment, horrible, otago | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

ophalm

so it goes. the newspaper comes into the mailbox and I put it straight in the recycling. after it had collected for maybe two weeks I decided to have a comb through it for the shit it no doubt contains. it’s like trying to find a black bear in a hay stack. the only problem is, is that the shit is stale as fuck. despite going through about seven papers, I only have a small selection of things to educate you about.
is it because my cat shit in my office for the third time this morning? that’s not the cause, but it true and very generous of her. it’s because the papers contain the same shit week after week, the ads hardly change, the articles are about the same garbage as ever.. the more things change the more they stay the same. I never understood that saying much when I was younger but I think as you age gracefully, you realise it’s depth.
anyway, there was something to point out in the mailbox:

beachdicks

this is from one of those “what’s happening around town” things in D Scene. some people are at the beach. I call them the “beach dicks” and the guys are especially fruity and it just says “look at us, we’re standing here” and little else. I wonder if they kept that copy of D Scene to show to their friends?

budgeting

as we should all know, debt is only really a useful tool if it’s for some sort of investment. read the box.. who does that sound like? what have I told you about boy racers? worthless, and now confirmed in debt

electricity

this is a touching story of a woman who lost her job, is on the unemployment benefit and struggles to pay for electricity to stay warm. there is a recession god knows some people are seriously struggling, but maybe you would be warmer if you didn’t dress with so much exposed skin? admittedly her shoulder is turning me on but that should be the least of her worries

gambling

here come into our fine establishment… you can gamble!

mj

thankyou thankyou michael for relieving us of our suffering. mj dies and the world cries.. all of a sudden people who mocked him for being weird were all “remember him for his great music”.. I don’t think pop music is respectable and he was kind of a clown so I don’t think he’ll be missed

scooter

there’s no stopping nan on her killing spree!

studentscene1

morgan tait is not just slightly crazy. she is also an idiot. ring ring “hi morgan tait speaking” “hi it’s D Scene here, what is your weeks column going to be about ” “tee hee I’m morgan tait this week it’s about how we tried to diet with cabbages and we failed look at me!” that there transcript tells you everything you need to know. it’s entirely possible that this column could be not worthless, but morgan needs to read more. or do something with her life first. who the fuck does she think she is?

shitmasks

I just think this is funny because I imagine them as a wrestling trio called the “shit masks”

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