otago massacre


critic cavern by ophalm
September 21, 2009, 1:36 pm
Filed under: dunedin, horrible, philosophy, rant, student life, uni | Tags: , , , , , , , ,

ophalm

apparently there was this big rally and people drove down from christchurch and there were riots. in fact it seems that this issue of critic is composed entirely of articles about it. well, there was some other shit but yeah..

 

Continue reading



Undie bloody Five Hundy by machinegunjoe
September 19, 2009, 6:19 am
Filed under: dunedin, entertainment, otago, student life | Tags: , ,

machinegunjoe

Yes if your not sick of it already here is one more rant about it.

1 – Peter Chin is a dick. “I hope it snows on the Northern Motorway so the cars cant get through” Did the good people of Dunedin actually elect this muppet who like to throw his toys?

2 – Leave the Police alone. They are just trying to do there job, bet you where glad when they arrested that guy who broke into you’re flat earlier in the year. Admittedly they could do a review of how they handled it this year but it was better than in 2008.

Unfortunately it seems to be a mob mentality of Police in riot gear = throw bottles etc. at them. WHY?!?

3 – Canterbury students, they get more enjoyment through decorating the cars and driving than the fires and rioting. They don’t cause it.

4 – Otago students, as one letting into the paper today stated, “congratulations to the 19,900 students who didn’t get arrested or in trouble” Why pray tell has a minority got the rest of the uni by the balls?

Now that I have bored you with what everyone else is saying its time for something completely different…. Solutions! Look at the bright side, you have a ready built crowd of young people practically begging for something to do. Is it just me of is this a heaven sent marketing opportunity? You don’t even have to advertise it very hard.

There was another letter in the paper today that was along the same sort of vein. Put on a gig, get some bands to play. I would hazard a guess and say that there is some small bands in the music department that would love the chance to play. If the University can use them for a crappy TV ad I’m sure they can put there music skills to better use, entertainment of the masses or such like. There is real potential to turn the Undie500 into a really cool festival that can be managed and, dare I say it, a profit to be had too…

Perhaps I am just a capitalist who sees dollar signs or perhaps the Dunedin City Council just lacks imagination and a little bit of flare to cope with problems that aren’t in the textbook.



an article about the undie by ophalm
September 17, 2009, 10:32 am
Filed under: dunedin, entertainment, student life, uni | Tags: , , , ,

hobo peterson

ed – this particular hobo peterson hails from canterbury

I heard there was a riot or something, people got a good old fashioned beat down, some white kids did a Haka, some blow-hards blew-hard about it on T.V., but this article isn’t about any of that. This year I didn’t go on the Undie but have in previous years, maybe I am getting too old or whatever, too out of touch with the kids of today, or maybe I just prefer to get out of it rather than get into it. However, one thing I do know about is advertising, marketing and all that business stuff (You can visit me on the third floor of the commerce building if you like, that’s where the management post-grads hang out, maybe we could be friends and add each other on Facebook, comment on each other status updates, join each others Mafias on MafiaWars and so on, but I digress.)

At my time at Uni one thing that I have always enjoyed about the Undie is definitely the effort put into decorating the cars, especially cars that fall into the genre of ‘politically incorrect’. I don’t really buy into PC vs UN-PC discussion, but I do enjoy jokes that are offensive and in your face, or just plain funny, in past years the Undie has always delivered on this. However, this year as I watched the cars/vans line up in the arts car park I noticed that they went through a rigours screening process and anything that was remotely offensive was ushered off to a secret location to be altered before being allowed into the main procession.

undie1

I wonder what was covered up here and for what reason?

undie2

what lies behind the blue paint, could it be a swear word that may offend?

undie3

: this guy lost his penis, is that ironic? Its like ten thousand dongs when all you need is a cunt

undie4

HOWEVER THIS ONE IS A-OKAY NAZI RULZ

One example I saw was the Mountain JEW car that featured an Israeli flag; it was taken off them, and also the J had to be changed into a D, ruining the joke. Whereas ‘incestuous bastards’ had some things taken off them (Josef Fritz was blanked out) but the swastikas on the wheels were kept. Also the O.S.H. van standing for Occupational Shit Heads had to remove the word ‘shit’ from their van, thus ruining the theme. I’m sure if you were there you saw countless other examples of this wicked good censorship. This brings me to my first question:

Q. What is more offensive to you: Mountain Jew with an Israeli flag or Incestuous Basterds with swastikas?

What is up with the bullshit censorship within the Undie, why would a cultural event such as this (albeit a student drinking culture is a pretty shitty culture to be honest, at least it’s better than the Indians, that culture sucks) need to be censored in this manner? This brings me to my second question for you the reader:

Q. Is the Undie 500 event an authentic student event if the students themselves are censored before being allowed to take part in the event?

When it comes to censorship, it usually lies with either uptight nanas or corporate sponsors. In this case I think the people to blame are definitely the sponsors of the event, I don’t know 100% who was behind censoring the vans, in fact I have done no research at all into this other that watching it happen. But I doubt it was ENSOC (they’re cool), I believe it was either Demon Energy Drink or THE ROCK FM ™.

I decided to have a look into this, so after a bit of internet detectivery I have discovered that Demon Energy Drink that sponsored the event have pulled all references of the Undie off their website. (NERDS ONLY: It’s still there in the Google cache though, go wild). Could it be that Demon whose tagline is “Live with no regrets. No Limits – No Laws!!!” is trying to distance themselves from the people that are seemingly doing just that? My prognosis – Student culture has been co-opted by a corporate entity and sold back to the youth, but when the going gets tough (i.e. negative publicity through riots may negatively effect the Demon brand) Demon is a bunch of “rational businessmen” and tries to erase all possible links between the two. Third question for the reader:

Q. Is it okay for a company to mimic aspects of youth culture in an effort to sell more units to that youth culture?

This is not the first time Demon have tried to ‘be cool’ to sell more units to ‘the kids’. Demon Energy Drink Limited also owns Illicit Cola that have been piggy backing off the Illicit Clothing Brand. By stealing their name and artistic style to give their cola the alternative edge through hijacking what the clothing brand has build up over 12 years, in this case a strong underground/alternative/cool image. You can look this shit up on the internet if you want, that was just as summary of the lame-ness of Demon. In closing Demon Energy = phony marketing guys trying to make a quick buck by copying what is cool at the time. Don’t fall for it they aren’t the real deal ™. In the same way Illicit (the drink) has hijacked Illicit (the clothing), Demon has tried to latch onto the Undie, Demon Energy is like your when your little sister claimed to absolutely love punk music especially true punks like Good Charlotte and SUM 41.

BONUS: For a laugh read the side of a Demon or Illicit cola can, some of the worst marketing copy (copy is what advertisers call the word bits of an advertisement/packaging) ever. Except for maybe Ink or Relentless, that’s pretty bad too.

As for the THE ROCK FM ™ they are just happy to put THE ROCK FM ™ bumper stickers on your van as to increase the exposure of their brand. For fun check out the non-riot pictures of the Undie on news websites, chances are there is a THE ROCK FM ™ logo somewhere. the THE ROCK FM ™ website also does not have any mention of the Undie on their website, however a couple of years back they did run a similar event named ‘THE UNDIE 500’ in Auckland where listeners of the radio station ran around in their underwear touching each other or something equally homosexual. No mention of that is on their website either. Is it acceptable for a corporate entity to take the name ‘Undie 500’ and use it for their own purposes, who owns the name ‘Undie 500’ is it you (the student)?

Q. Is it acceptable for corporate interests to censor a cultural event in exchange for sponsoring it, if without sponsorship that event would probably not take place?

By the time this goes to print you have probably seen the Undie on the news countless times, and a lot of talk in the media about banning this or students-at-fault that or what ever. At the end of it, do you care? Adults create the world children live in. Juvenile delinquency is always rooted in adult delinquency. Ain’t no politician gonna tell me how I’m going to live my life!!! (But a marketer might).

note: hobo peterson is the random from the internet. you too could be hobo peterson if you want



Survival of the fittest? by machinegunjoe
June 3, 2009, 11:58 pm
Filed under: dunedin, student life | Tags: ,

posted by machinegunjoe

Street smart students?

It seems there is fierce competition in the streets of Dunedin for the Darwin Award* of “least likely to cross the same street twice”.

There seems to be a fad among students for seeing an approaching car and walking out in front of it.

Now I’m not just talking about the usual morning rush of kids pouring out of the halls and trying to make their 9 o’clock lectures, running across castle street at any hour day or night is practically expected. No, I’m talking about the students walking (or staggering as the case may be) around in the CBD. Some of these eager contestants seem to have adopted the theory of “nah, they’ll stop for me”.

Several weeks ago happened to be riding around in town on a Friday night. Now the motorbike I was riding is not the quietest vehicle on the road, indeed I’ve heard rumours it can be heard several blocks away as it accelerates down the road. So what puzzles me is why pedestrians insist in wondering across the road paying no regard to the exhaust note of what is obviously a machine travelling at pace. One girl who seem quite unconcerned about the whole “look left, right then left again” thing decided to meander across the road, even going so far as to stop in the lane to yell something at me as I used the horn to let her know what MY thoughts where.

So the questions I must ask are;

– Are students brains swimming in so much alcohol they fail to think of road safety while on the town?

Or are they just stupid to start with?

– Which in turn begs the next question, what on earth are they doing at university?

Am I just being unfair and picking on the few repeat offenders who like a bit of dodgems to get the adrenaline flowing? No I think not, the problem is just down to the fact that most of the students just dont really give a rats arse and so far have had no reason to stop doing what they have been.

Just makes things all the more fun for drivers about the city. I just hope that one of the dear wee things doesnt get hurt before they wise up.

*For those of you who dont know what the Darwin Awards are go to http://www.darwinawards.com. Its all about taking oneself out of the gene pool by acts of stupidity. A good pick-up read if your having one of those clumsy days and feeling stink about it.



news watch 25/05/09 by ophalm
May 25, 2009, 6:00 am
Filed under: dunedin, entertainment, horrible, mockery | Tags: , , , ,

posted by ophalm

just before doing the recycling like the amazing citizen than I am, I realised I had not read – and consequently destroyed – the paper. either the star or d scene. I’d tackle the ODT but critic apparently has a (shitty) monopoly on that, and that would require spending funds on it. if you want to buy it for me, you’re welcome of course

robroy
buy from the rob roy dairy so they can afford to buy more ads please

baldwin1
apparently people like to urinate all up and down baldwin street, and in fact this guy here was caught defecating near the top. when questioned, he told the police he was trying to have a “turd race”.. wtf? seriously need more than one turd to have a race

baldwin2
and then this old guy complains about students getting killed! I mean, my heart goes out to the students who died here 8 years ago playing a wicked drunken stunt, but he is offended and not at all proud. if you didn’t want to be a life saver mate maybe you should have lived in a different house mate.

rapmetal
this old guy apparently is having something to do with getting in bands etc for the new stadium. but because it’s so ridiculously big, they can’t have anyone, only people like elton john.. elton john in dunedin? maybe, but look at what he said, rap and metal out of the question? you’ve lost me. you’ve lost me as a patron for good

mess1
this is from d scene. they go around on the weekend taking photos of drunks and ask them for quotes. but mainly, how terrible is their printing? I look at them and think “something is wrong, oh it’s shittily printed”. why is that acceptable?
take these two sluts for example
mess2
I only assume they are sluts due to their makeup, going so far as to put blue eyeliner in their eyes! well maybe, or perhaps d scene has terrible terrible printing presses, my god this is apalling
that said, they could be still be sluts..

and then there is this

teethwhite

compulsory face stretching


if I was making an ad to do with superficial physical appearance, I’d keep my basic proportions, in proportion



Surcharges. What the shit!?!? by loisweathers
April 22, 2009, 8:20 pm
Filed under: drugs, dunedin, entertainment, horrible | Tags: , , ,

poasted by lois weathers

So I’m just a kid right, new to the whole bar scene. But don’t be fooled, I’m adaptable, I’ve gotten into it like a fish in water. Or as it be fresher in a pool of booze and barf.

This whole bar scene is very exciting, Im not a major piss fiend myself but I enjoy a social drink or two. And I rock some moves on the D floor. I have however seen the hard core piss fiends that seem to really enjoy getting so fucked up they cant even walk… with their scrumpy bottles attached to their hands, lying on the vomit covered ground. Sick fucks. Anywho. As you can see I think binge drinking is a really big issue in Dunedin. Otago is really seen as a party uni and that you can get by hungover. Some of you may find it really fun getting wasted and having to get a new liver later on in life but I think a few people are on my track and enjoy maybe one or two drinks and a fun night dancing. But those money hungry bar owners wont take that shit.

You may remember a while ago the bowler did this deal in which you would get a cheaper deal buying 5 or 6 of one drink than you would only buying 1 or 2. So the bargin deal makes us think we HAVE to get 6. Then suddenly your left with 6 drinks all at the same time that you have to skull down. The DCC went down hard on this as uni students were getting really fucked up and smashing shit. Now most money hungry bars would take this as a warning and most did until they came up with this new plot. Now this one is tricky to see through. Ten bar has a surcharge of $5 they put at the door. At first I was like “what the fuck makes 10 bar so fucking special!?” I mean they have sticky floors and urine/vomit covered toilets just like the rest of the bars. Why should I pay $5 to listen to the same music that’s in every other place? Then the bouncer kindly informed me that you got a free tequilla shot with it. I was interested a his definition that the shot was “free”.

But was it really? I was paying $5 to get in… And then getting a drink. Seems a bit fishy to me. What if I was sober driver for my friends?? I paid to get into the bar, and then their offering me this free shot. Whats a kid to do? And the choice of a shot was really a masterful one. As most people want some other drink after to get the rancid taste of tequila out of thier mouth. This is just asking for uni students to go in and get fucked up and smash some shit. But they’ve done it in this cunning way called a “surcharge”
Just wait man, my prediction is that soon every bar will have a “surcharge” that come with a “free” drink and then the worst will happen. Soon there will just be surcharges with no drink!!! Say no now dunedin!! We don’t want to be Sydney!!!!
BOYCOT THE SURCHARGE
Thanks for reading. LOL



news watch easter by ophalm
April 10, 2009, 10:09 pm
Filed under: dunedin, entertainment, horrible, mockery | Tags:

posted by ophalm

it’s been a while. shit’s been going on but the two stars I just read were a bit of a gold mine really

news07

don't slide into the black hole!

a loose definition of pride.. now I’m not one to bag old people. one day I might be old, but this is mind boggling. a chair that helps you up! wow can life ever cease to surprise me? only $1250 too which for any pensioner is a bargain beyond potatoes. at least she looks content, until it goes too far and murders her

news01

someone other than the elderly are adopting technology – schools! maybe when my children get to school they’ll be learning about “science” and “maths” too

news02

there is nothing that could make this better apart from maybe having granddad himself in the motorised scooter. maybe trying to do a jump of a curb after the child

news03

now this is something I can get behind. I feel like the music industry is pretty fucked in all manners. is there a solution? maybe? it’s surely not the old system of cds and expensive music. what this guy is doing is in the right direction though. offering local music for a small cost and yeah – we need more of this

news04

apparently mayor peter chin is being resurrected at this church this easter. since I’m slow on the posting it’s too late but at least you know it was happening
 

news05
I just wanted to draw attention to how sad this is. this cat is called magnet and it’s been missing since january and they’ve paid money to get this long classified. sad times indeed

news06

the gist of this article is that there are problems with alcohol, and that the problems stem not from alcohol or society, but from it’s availability. anyone who has a clue knows that limiting where alcohol is brought from and the times it’s available is going to have minimal impact, only the fringe bingers who decide to buy another 12 pack of coronas for $32 at the night and day are going to be stopped.
binge drinking is a culture in nz that’s not going to go away any time soon. I don’t think it’s a particularly heathly culture but it’s there and it’s not due to alcohols immediate availability.
it’s like these people feel a requirement from the public to “do something” about it, so they sit there and change some little things, probably to complain in the future that they “did all they could do” and that the problem still exists.
I don’t have a solution, but I know for sure this isn’t it

news08

please dunedin love us again

it’s gotten serious all of a sudden hasn’t it? I just love this because f&p dump a whole lot of employees and move their workforce somewhere else, but then open a token store in the new shit mall and what are they hoping for? I hope dunedin boycotts this store (and the new mall) but knowing how retardedly consumer the general population is they’ll lap this shit up. it’s a sad age