otago massacre

critic cavern 14/07/09 by ophalm


I actually came across this by accident this week. I intended to pick it up from somewhere else, but I saw it while marching to the toilet before my 9am lecture. I didn’t know it circulated this widely but lessons can be learnt any day but sunday and that’s not today.

it’s really quite tempting to say something about the cover. to make a comment about the article of internet memes. it really infuriates me so much, on so many different levels for so many different reasons that I’m afraid I can’t make comment because I know I won’t be able to do my absolute hatred justice

so they’re renaming re-o week to take two. “a rose by any other name is still a rose” is a famous quote which, while it hits the nail on the head, fails to describe the depth of the situation. see whether otago likes it or not, it’s reputation is drunken parties. degrees come a distant second I’m sorry. the drug of the nation is being consumed at an ever increasing rate and the only thing to do is to join it. renaming it won’t have prevented the castle street keg party last night, and it won’t prevent first years from losing their date-rape virginities either. effort in a different way… maybe?

but what about the rest of the magazine? it’s somewhat reassuring to know that the more things change, the more they stay the same. I think I said that in the last post but maybe it’s getting through to you. see some of the columns are new! fantastic I can hear the angels singing.

there’s an obsessive compulsive “red shoes diary” fan who writes for a column called “AV’S SWEET” and it’s name is emma tate. she likes tv. waaay to much apparently. not smart enough to download tv though, just stream it, and not smart enough to write a column worth reading. anyone who has enough time to watch the shit she gloats about doesn’t deserve my time nor my semen

“what maketh the man?” by kavi chetty. an article about moustaches. I’m gonna call his bluff and say that he wrote this article purely from a perspective of admiration for something retro, but without actually having the balls to do anything about it. does kavi have a moustache? I’m betting no, and if I’m right then I’m also right about his propensity for touching other men’s scrotums. personally I have a moustache. in a technical sense anyway.

“oooh snap!” I am so glad the unitards have some kind of extra outlet on top of facebook for posting pictures of themselves drunk. “hey look at me I’m contributing to the nation’s disgrace, can’t you see I’m drunk!”

there was a higher than normal proportion of articles about murder and fighting and death and punching and all things that seem horrible. I guess it’s good that there is information getting out there, but where are the outlets for the anger built up from finals?

page 55 have a nice wee third page ad about brazilian waxes just below a nerd article. who plans this magazine? the pirate bay going “legit” is an interesting concept, although what affect it will have on the greater torrent community is uncertain. I know that most people are moving away from the public sites (pirate bay, mininova etc) to private and even secret trackers. harder to get stung. personally I’m surprised NZ doesn’t have it’s own one, it’s about time. everyone knows that copyright holds the public back and that’s it’s only real goal is to increase the wealth gap between the rich and the poor! the only war is class war my friend. so who wants to come with me to get a brazilian?

and there you go. another week down