otago massacre

second semester by ophalm
July 13, 2009, 6:31 am
Filed under: meta, uni | Tags: , , ,


damn. half the year gone already. it’s hard to believe but it’s good to have faith that this semester will be exactly like the last one but with less enthusiasm. first years will have a slight grasp of life, going home to friends and family probably showed them more than anything else that they’ve changed while their family stayed the same. hopefully this means that by coming back they will be less certain about life, which is the first stepping stone to being a better person, learning that the illusions they had about life and family are but illusions. the earlier they learn it the better. joy doesn’t come without tears

wonder what the stoners are going to be up to? unlike first semester when the weather is suitable for the girls to prove to us that we don’t need to respect their minds but only their asses, the weather is not suitable for sluts or for stoning. of course this won’t deter the stoners from having their four twenty blazeathons which really do protest the harsh laws on cannabis

what other great highlights will there be on campus? there’s always that fruit stall. they have cheap fruit there apparently. never brought any myself. apparently you can’t buy only one apple because they’d undercut the campus food corporation.
there will definitely be more of that. more food monopolies. or less competition. whatever makes more sense.
it’s actually a shame. not much of a fan of having no choice over the food and drink. I mean, I have choice, but only amongst a small chain of food, with not much choice in who my money ends up with. sad but true. thats what you get for living in 2009

no doubt critic will be cranking up again. I would put money on them not having learnt from past semesters; and actually making more episodes. will amy still be at the helm? will it be the different, only exactly the same? much like this blog the answer is yes

what about the massacre? what will be different here? little will be different. we just don’t have the resources or motivation to change anything. might try to get some new advertising up around the uni, if you see it write something awesome on it. gonna try to push the darknet harder because at the moment it is a colossal failure. might give out some prizes. might take over the university..

remember your brains!


critic cavern 27/05/09 by ophalm
May 27, 2009, 2:33 pm
Filed under: drugs, politics, student life, uni | Tags: ,

posted by ophalm

has monday passed already? it easy to tell because the sweet effluent smell of critic arrives at our nostrils once again

only this time it has something to say that’s somewhat relevant. not that it’s not overshadowed as always by the reek of the majority of the publication, but still. give credit where credits due

students fail at democrazy
this is true. we students suck. I didn’t vote either. my excuse is that I didn’t know it was on, but this is a very poor excuse, as I read the critic last week and somewhere in my head I knew there was an election, but I just didn’t click and when I got home on thursday night I had an (unhelpful) email in my student email account reminding me to vote by 5pm (I think). it was later than then so I missed out. so I can’t blame anyone in particular, so I’ll blame everyone.
the idea of doing it online though: ¡el superior! because more people could vote and if the page was made in a reasonable fashion, you’d be able to read about the candidates, and imagine if they started a message board too so people could discuss the candidates and ask them question.
that’d be far too much like democracy should be like though…

stoners need to get an attitude adjustment
this article is pretty spot on. I mean, on some level I disagree with the general notion that people should have to live up to societies expectations, but upon further thought and realisation that stoners are trying to win said societies respect, it’s a worthwhile message.
maybe if they started to realise that stoners didn’t have to be wasters, something might change. so maybe they should stop drinking woodstock (I saw this happen earlier this year!) and wear nice clothes. invite some business men down, maybe peter chin. have some nibbles, some foie gras and impress the locals. the key my friends will be this

what else is there? I’m running this critic cavern without having opened the critic since yesterday morning. due to that, I don’t remember anything else. human lefts was interesting, they wrote the article about the stoners too. an evil rant about open source software is included somewhere and the cartoon about the mother on crack, well, I didn’t find it funny. I wonder what they think about that?

student life lounge by ophalm
March 12, 2009, 4:31 pm
Filed under: horrible, student life | Tags: ,

has anyone ever been to this?


every week they hold a lounge where you can visit and hear an uplifting message. I personally haven’t been, I almost did last year, when I was lured into something unawares by the promise of free popcorn, but it was too hard to find and I think I realised it was a student life event near the end of my search. I know of a lot of people who went when they had their cannabis special, and apparently it was one sided!

I love the cultural relevance of student life. can someone who has been please tell me more about it? I’m not willing to partake in it myself unless there is another cannabis debate.

funk what by ophalm
February 27, 2009, 6:00 am
Filed under: drugs, dunedin, horrible, mockery | Tags: , , , ,
when I read their signs I go into an epileptic fit

when I read their signs I go into an epileptic fit

funk that. a store with a name that is a pun of “fuck that”. right from the moment your eyes are insulted by it’s shopfront 50 meters away, you just know this store is class.
the guy who owns the store (“the funk that guy”) is one dodgy mother fucker. he makes his living through evading every laws using loopholes and by selling crack cocaine to school children. he imports stuff that no-one can (wants to?) because he imports them broken down or stuffed in my-little-pony dolls. just so you and I can take our drugs more efficiently.
also so we can buy ninja stars and big swords and posters of cannabis smoking aliens (probably, I’m not sure of that but every lame store like this has those “bring me to your dealer” – “lol”). you can buy all your legal “highs” although I’m convinced the down you get from those “highs” outweigh any shuddery benefit.
have I mentioned the store front is highlighter green? did I mention you can buy cannabis growing equipment? what about tacky-as-fuck zippo lighters? what about weed tins that have pictures of magic mushrooms on them?
what about coloured contacts? or misleading signs for round the clock “tattoos”?

at least it’s mostly cheaper than cosmic corner, which is ironic because when I google “funk that dunedin”, the third link is cosmic corner (without a real link to funk that in sight)

the day of stalls by ophalm
February 25, 2009, 3:10 pm
Filed under: drugs, dunedin, horrible, mockery, otago, politics, student life, uni | Tags: , , , , ,

I’m not sure what it’s called. that day when you go to campus and all the banks try to sell you bank accounts and free giveaways.. had a visit today. the weather was shit and the mood depressing. not too many students, as it was also the cookathon, and mainly just muddy grass and hotdogs

teach the controversy

teach the controversy

what else can be said?


stop, tamrtime

stop, tamrtime

tamrtime Globus. there’s posters all around uni. “real food” they say. “no added flavours” huh.. I tried a free sample. it was figgy. “Delicious, Natural, healthy, Nutritious” why only 3 of those 4 words require capitals is beyond my understanding, same with the the lack of vowels in the name


"make it count"

"make it count"

apparently you should only drink one beer. or maybe I didn’t get the message. I wasn’t prepared to go up and see what it was actually about, just stand and photograph from a distance just for you. but it’s a beer with it’s own tap and somehow a beer is being used to promote not binge drinking.. mixed messages guys


have no doubts - they guys do illegal drugs

have no doubts - they guys do illegal drugs

so this is norml. they love that tree don’t they? there’s not much else to be said, other than to note how they love brown

this is what those on the inside call a "deal"

this is what those on the inside call a "deal"

swapping phone numbers so they can swap ounces for money


fitness is the fastest route to public embarrasment

fitness is the fastest route to public embarrasment


personally the idea of fitness doesn’t bode well for me. I know I should, but then I see these guys and am reminded of what being fit does to one


the least visited website

the least visited website

in theory this website is a good idea, but in practice no-one goes to it and therefore no-one trades anything. I’d say “put in some effort, jump on the ship” but I’m not that kind of person, in fact I’d say “don’t go to it” because I don’t want to prolong their pain (kindness resides within)


ignore the girl, she got in the way

ignore the girl, she got in the way

do we really need another terrible energy drink? that’s not a rhetorical question, and the answer is “no, we sure as hell don’t”, especially since the uni wouldn’t sell it anyway, because the naughty capitalists have made the uni a one-brand-of-drink-haven

I also came home freebeeless. and the banks were out in force trying to get those poor students to join their “student” accounts so they can be raped of every last cent by a large soulless corporation. but apparently you get $40 if you join.. something tells me they wouldn’t give you $40 unless they made way more than that back, because they are banks and they are experts at making profits from money, not gullible fools giving away free cash..

four20 still losing by ophalm
February 12, 2009, 11:29 pm
Filed under: uni | Tags: , ,

if you’re new you may not know about the union lawn 420 sesh up; a bunch of stoners – in an effort to challenge perceptions and stereotypes of cannabis users – manage to further the image that all cannabis smokers are wasters.

anyone with half a brain knows that not all cannabis users are wasters/losers, it’s just that all the users who aren’t as such tend to stay at home, be productive members of society and use cannabis on the side. they don’t tend to make a lifestyle purely out of getting high.

the 420 is meant to be a form of protest. how exactly I’m unsure but it’s been going for years, but it got out of hand in 08 – reaching a critical mass, attracting the attention of the dean and the police, arrests happened, campus watch got frisky and generally everyone else on campus got pissed off with them. some even went to the length of comparing a non-smoker smelling cannabis smoke to a vegetarian being forced to smell a sausage cookoff. strong words for strong feelings

so this year is going to be an interesting one for the union lawn high flyers*, will their cause continue? will they be shut down by the fuzz? will their massive tree-hanging joint be destroyed by a bunch of piñata desperate drongos? will abe ever shave? I guess only time will tell – but keep an eye out, you might score a free toke 😉


*if for some reason you want to check it out for yourself – union lawn (outside the union grill on campus) @ 4.20pm on wednesdays and fridays