otago massacre

critic cavern 30/07/09 by ophalm
July 30, 2009, 10:38 pm
Filed under: horrible, student life | Tags: , , , ,


well jizz in my eye it’s another week of critic mayhem. sorry I’m a bit late, unlike most of the internet I have a life, with things to achieve and people to look after, and unlike some people I put my internet responsibilities down the list. don’t want to end up 40 and divorced because I left my partner for my WoW team mate do I?

this cover is te meke! you should all learn maori I think. I had one entire lecture on pronunciation and another lecture by a really fat maori guy about how it’s our duty as health professionals to make sure maori are healthier. the irony is something I love but as far as racism goes I’m not really racist I was just stating what happened

another week another tragedy of print. the brazilian wax job has moved from the last page to the front. something about the ad just hints (reeks) of tactless porn. “free brazilian” just is not appealing unless you’re a penny pinching slut sorry. maybe get rid of the girl and make the ad less blatant. at least it’s a welcome distraction from the editorial.

why is juicy colourless? why is it not called juicy? why do they make references to old magazines that have already been used as cat litter? these are all good questions but critic don’t give a fuck.

this weatherston case. apparently a lot of people care about this, or at least have some sort of morbid interest. probably because it has something to do with the university. personally, I just don’t care. I mean, I care in general that murderers go to jail, but I just have nothing to say or to add. if someone wants to write up some opinionated diatribe about it they are more than welcome but I’m not touching that shit unless I get either a) good money or b) there is some obvious joke to be made

so our (least) favorite mayor peter chin has fucked us over once again. I’ve never taken the bus and in my home town of christchurch many years ago I made an uninformed decision to never ever use public transportation. this is not at all relevant to the fact that the dcc fucked out the bus system and now you carless hobos have even less ability to get anywhere

and so not only is it maori week but also jesus week
I used to be a christian. >10 years to be vague. I also didn’t just backslide out of the fold but made a lot of discovers and learnt a lot of lessons over a long period of time. the majority of people who write or comment about christianity in a negative light don’t know shit to be honest. smart christians (while rare) are in general smarter and have thought more about their faith than you give them credit. the guy who wrote this sits firmly in the smarter group of christians. you can tell this by the fact that he doesn’t actually mention anything of any value. he basically says “yeah some christians are hypocrites but” and so you go away thinking “hmm maybe he’s different” but years of intellectual assault from university smart people means he has had to find a way to start conversations without causing uncontrollable eye rolling.
but just like intelligent design, the deeper you dig the shallower the theory.
“after 2000 years people are still talking about jesus” and after 1500 years people are still talking about muhammed and >3000 years people are talking about abraham and >3000 years people have been using ayurvedic and I don’t get the point. religion was evolutionarily succesful because it explained a lot when there was no other explanation. christianity and abrahamic religions in general were revolutionary. their success is not surprising. but also not surprising either is the amount of contradictions, inconsistencies or lack of evidence.


so it’s come to common knowledge that smacking is the key to raising the next weatherston (so what if I went back on my word)
to be completely honest I had forgotten this whole smacking thing actually went through in the first place. that sounds ultra retarded but when I think about it I realise that apart from the bitching and moaning that happened in the first place, nothing bad has happened. I was all into smacking because I was smacked as a child and also due to my christianity I was into smacking (it’s in the bible, read it for yourself).. not once did I really consider evidence in my crazy pro smacking rants I had with peers but now today is a different day and evidence is something I feel strongly about.
not enough of that article is about the psychological effects of smacking. I feel (and this has no basis whatsoever) that the simple nation wide discussion of the topic has made people a lot more aware. I don’t know if smacking should be illegal but I’m not much of a black and white kind of guy, and smacking does have a legitimate place. not as a form of correction so much but I’d rather smack my child and prevent him running onto the road than have him run onto the road. but as far as I understand the current anti-smacking law as it stands allows for that. so what’s the problem?
the problem is that people want it to be their right to smack children as much as they want without any potential repercussions.
the other thing I find interesting about this mass debate is the whole smacking=hitting thing. anti smackers say “hitting a child isn’t bad” but pro smackers say “smacking is a valid form of discipline” and I know different words don’t change anything but if I smack my partner on the ass during sex would they say I hit my partner? that is the question people don’t avoid it

man this is getting depressing isn’t it. all this serious bullshit has to end. but critic has nothing more to offer. well technically in some “information theory” way it does but as far as stuff you and me want to read – nothing. what are we gonna do? nothing. why has this become such a negative episode? blame amy

you are the salt of the earth by ophalm
March 6, 2009, 4:33 pm
Filed under: horrible, mockery, nonsensical | Tags: ,

“You are the salt of the earth. But if the salt loses its saltiness, how can it be made salty again? It is no longer good for anything, except to be thrown out and trampled by men.” – Matthew 5:13

sodium chloride

no jews

blessed christian salt

I don’t know what to say about this. some priest, ICA President Damon S. Arney blesses it himself, apparently it “has at least as much flavor and beneficial minerals as kosher salt”. you’d damn well hope so, considering kosher salt is just regular salt. and salt is pretty much salt

I can at least understand the concept of blessed food or shoes but salt? two ions as a crystal? what is the problem with regular salt? nothing that’s what. salt is truly gods gift to us, you’d know that if you had tasted delicious food, but this is a money grabbing venture if ever I had seen it. I’d like to make my own brand of blessed foodstuffs. maybe blessed peanuts. blessed with my urine. hmm.