otago massacre


it’s no longer tamrtime by ophalm
March 24, 2009, 9:50 pm
Filed under: nonsensical | Tags:

I see that in an effort to steal hits away from my site to his, MC tmartime has created his own blog on wordpress http://tamrtime.wordpress.com/ and has somehow taken the search engine crown

This blog is for Tamrtime, the most delicious and nutritious natural food on the planet. Here you can share stories about Tamrtime.

I take my hat off to you. it’s a sad day for me but my tears will be used in the next batch of tamrtime globus and then the world can begin spinning again



tamrtime globus by ophalm
March 10, 2009, 6:05 pm
Filed under: politics, student life | Tags: ,

in my hard hitting review of the day of stalls I made a passing reference to tamrtime globus, an international flavour smash introduced by muhammed (I believe) http://www.tamrtime.com

this in itself isn’t interesting. what is interesting is statistics.
because the fancy software this website is built on tells me what people have searched for if they’ve arrived here via a search engine. not suprisingly at all the most common search term used has been “otago massacre”, but what is surprising is the next two entries. the second most popular term was “tamrtime globus” but that has been surpasssed by “tamrtime”.. so yes the second and third most common entries have been about date based food.

what is tamrtime globus? well tamr is a kind of date. time is like “hammer time” and globus comes from latin globe and means sphere basically (I presume) so yeah, a ball of dates (I made this up – it’s probably true). covered in coconut. it also has other additives (real food) and you can buy it all over uni.

“Eating tamrtime, spreading the seeds, is a noble activity because every time someone tamrtime they contribute to reducing carbon emissions, global warming and desertification. What a great way to start the day, have for lunch or with coffee for complete satisfaction to feel the energy rush form the nutritious mix.”

do I want to mock tamrtime? not really, it tastes good and I’m all for free enterprise. in fact right now I feel bad so I’m going to promote you buy some, since it is probably good for you
the marketing leaves a little bit to be desired though, and this post is a testament to it. this site is the second reply for “tamrtime globus” and the first for “tamrtime” (in front of the official site) at this point in time on google. I’m too lazy to check other engines. the only way in fact to get the official site to come up before this is to search for “tamr time” as two words, but I asked myself in the shower today “why would someone do that”?

I'd like to know what food isn't real?

date delight. real food

this post in of itself might blow that out of the water and permanently lock in first place for all search phrases though. I didn’t even try or want this. fate thrust it upon me



the day of stalls by ophalm
February 25, 2009, 3:10 pm
Filed under: drugs, dunedin, horrible, mockery, otago, politics, student life, uni | Tags: , , , , ,

I’m not sure what it’s called. that day when you go to campus and all the banks try to sell you bank accounts and free giveaways.. had a visit today. the weather was shit and the mood depressing. not too many students, as it was also the cookathon, and mainly just muddy grass and hotdogs

teach the controversy

teach the controversy

what else can be said?

 

stop, tamrtime

stop, tamrtime

tamrtime Globus. there’s posters all around uni. “real food” they say. “no added flavours” huh.. I tried a free sample. it was figgy. “Delicious, Natural, healthy, Nutritious” why only 3 of those 4 words require capitals is beyond my understanding, same with the the lack of vowels in the name

 

"make it count"

"make it count"

apparently you should only drink one beer. or maybe I didn’t get the message. I wasn’t prepared to go up and see what it was actually about, just stand and photograph from a distance just for you. but it’s a beer with it’s own tap and somehow a beer is being used to promote not binge drinking.. mixed messages guys

 

have no doubts - they guys do illegal drugs

have no doubts - they guys do illegal drugs

so this is norml. they love that tree don’t they? there’s not much else to be said, other than to note how they love brown

this is what those on the inside call a "deal"

this is what those on the inside call a "deal"

swapping phone numbers so they can swap ounces for money

 

fitness is the fastest route to public embarrasment

fitness is the fastest route to public embarrasment

om-8321-090225

personally the idea of fitness doesn’t bode well for me. I know I should, but then I see these guys and am reminded of what being fit does to one

 

the least visited website

the least visited website

in theory this website is a good idea, but in practice no-one goes to it and therefore no-one trades anything. I’d say “put in some effort, jump on the ship” but I’m not that kind of person, in fact I’d say “don’t go to it” because I don’t want to prolong their pain (kindness resides within)

 

ignore the girl, she got in the way

ignore the girl, she got in the way

do we really need another terrible energy drink? that’s not a rhetorical question, and the answer is “no, we sure as hell don’t”, especially since the uni wouldn’t sell it anyway, because the naughty capitalists have made the uni a one-brand-of-drink-haven

I also came home freebeeless. and the banks were out in force trying to get those poor students to join their “student” accounts so they can be raped of every last cent by a large soulless corporation. but apparently you get $40 if you join.. something tells me they wouldn’t give you $40 unless they made way more than that back, because they are banks and they are experts at making profits from money, not gullible fools giving away free cash..