otago massacre

a better way to talk by ophalm
July 18, 2009, 6:00 am
Filed under: guide, philosophy | Tags:


certain times call for certain measures.

drastic times call for drastic measures.

and that is why today I am going to make you a better person.
I’m going to aid you all. maybe you’ve heard of this little thing called latin?
it’s old. substaintially. and most of us use it daily without realising. “etc”, “vs”, “am/pm”.. it’s very interesting I know. sometimes we even use terms like per se to give statements like “a dogs anus isn’t dirty per se

and so it’s obvious to conclude that our life would be quite enriched if we slipped latin phrases into everyday language. There’s a rather large repository in the wikipedia but being the kind gentle one that I am, I’ve gone and found the most useful to real life


ab irato – from an angry man
“when I was leaving the supermarket carpark just before I got told to turn my lights on ab irato

absolutum dominium – absolute dominion
“I just made a pizza that holds absolutum dominium

ad abundantiam – to abundance
“tonight we will drink ad abundantiam

cadavera vero innumera – truly countless bodies
“tonight I am getting on the piss and am going to try to hook up with cadavera vero innumera

carpe noctem – seize the night
“alright boys lets go candy flipping and carpe noctem

celerius quam asparagi cocuntur – more swiftly than asparagus is cooked
“as it turns out my dear it appears my performance was not up to scratch this evening – I came celerius quam asparagi cocuntur

cepi corpus – I got the body
“bitches – cepi corpus

consummatum est – it is completed
“uh uh unggggg consummatum est

ex mea sententia – in my opinion
“your pants are ludicrous ex mea sententia

graviora manent – heavier things remain
“I went to the toilet, but graviora manent

iustitia omnibus – justice for all
“I think we should put on …and iustitia omnibus

manu propria – with one’s on hand
“I think I might go to the bedroom, spend some time with manu propria

noli me tangere – do not touch me
“I would hug you, or even shake your hand, but please noli me tangere

obit anus, abit onus – the old woman dies, the burden lifted
“at first I felt guilty about eating this hamburger, but obit anus, abit onus

wow… so much culture. days like today are good days no? especially when confronted with such life affirming information. I only hope at the very least you use this shit daily and probably get into a career of speech modification. you’re all very welcome coma staba


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