otago massacre

news watch 26/04/09 by ophalm
April 26, 2009, 7:22 pm
Filed under: drugs, entertainment, horrible, mockery

posted by ophalm

will newspapers ever get the message that nobody reads them and that they are worthless? thankfully yes due to declining sales they will get the message through the sure messenger of redundancy


here’s some information for you. in order for cows to give us milk they need to have given birth to a little child cow. if the cow actually fed this child cow then the milk wouldn’t be available to drink. so the little cow is disposed of. so we have this mournful cow that’s being forced to give milk. and what happens to this milk?
a bunch of christians are using it in a skulling competition. apparently denigrating the binge drinking community isn’t enough for them so they need to try to copy it as their own, only managing to trivialise the poor cows suffering. good work there

I guess overall it’s a good thing that the newspaper is encouraging composting, but seriously, do people really need to be taught how? can’t they just do it? put your old shit in a bin and wait. it might not smell good, or it might smell fantastic. eitherway your old shit will be even older and confined to one space

I can’t help but feel for the midgets who this advertising campaign neglects

if there’s one thing more important in life than wiping your ass, it’s not getting a loan from crazy cat loans. you’d have to be so desperate and probably want to go spend that money on a new tail pipe or carbon fibre looking dash for your stupid fucking boy racer car.
ever notice how “boy racer” and “boy rapist” are similar word wise and refer to the same group?

homeschooling is a great alternative to – the real world. if you feel the real world is threatening, if you think children should not think for themselves but only as you direct, if you have a family of 6 or more.. then this might be for you. not compatible with critical thinking or socialising

wow this article really puts the anal in banal

fuck jeeze guys I called for a boycott but you homos just don’t get it. you went and gave them money and a reason to exist. 😦 life is sad sometimes

what I want to know is, why the hell didn’t I know about this earlier? arguably I could have read this newspaper when it came out but I had tests to fail and now I’ve missed out on Supreme Robot Challenge which was going to be one of the highlights of dunedin’s year and most likely my entire life

want a hand? want to learn how to use your hands? want to make money with your hands? the images at the top right corner show you how dedicated they are to teaching you a lucrative profession:
420 every day my friends – even the polytech agrees


3 Comments so far
Leave a comment

So true about the cows. Christians in general have never been very animal rights conscious.

Comment by James

I used to be a christian years ago, I kind of understand the mentality (as flawed as it is), which is that God gave us the earth to do with as we wish basically, and also that humans =/= animals and all animals are lower forms of life and don’t deserve the same treatment we do..

“it’s our god given right”..

Comment by ophalm

Welp it looks like the recession hasn’t stopped people from buying overpriced crap from wall street it seems 😐

Comment by criticalwat

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