otago massacre

printers is the worst subject by ophalm
April 4, 2009, 6:00 am
Filed under: nonsensical, philosophy | Tags: ,

posted by ophalm

well do I have a few things to say about printers? yes I do. I was unwantingly lamenting to some student colleagues my many opinion on printers

see to start the story, to give a bit of background, I was sitting in the esteemed hunter centre “studying” for an assessment when I saw a “pixar 390” or I have no idea what it was called printer from “student it” for $39. student it is another target for derision but that can probably wait. so this printer. I pointed it out and student colleague says “I’ve got one of those printers and it’s shit” and pulls out a terribly printed piece of paper. we laughed – it was a good day.

so I realised after this, after a few stories to the boys about printers, that I wasn’t just a printer expert but that I was the mother fucking ghandi of printers

my first printer for my amiga was a 9pin dot matrix. I can’t remember the brand but I recall at some stage getting a colour adapter for it. I could replace the cartridge (which had a long ribbon with ink on it within) with a colour cartridge which had a ribbon but the ribbon was CYMK. wow those were the days. I had this piece of software which could make my printer print really fine but it took literally about 15 minutes per page. I am not making that up.

and then I have experience with a brother laser printer at my old job. oh man that was a workhorse. it was a black and white laser and I printed maybe 20-50 sheets a day for 5 years. it occasionally needed a new toner cartridge and they weren’t cheap, but on a per sheet basis they were amazing. it had this meter you could bring up on the computer and it would tell you how much toner was left and how used the laser drum was. the laser drum started at 100% and when it went down to 0% it needed replacing. last time I looked it was at -300%, 4 times it’s designed use rate.

and to introduce the next candidate before the old one is done with, the printer we replaced the B&W laser with was a colour laser. now this was not an awesome printer. well, it wasn’t bad, but the toner was expensive and what pissed me off, and what was awesome about the brother B&W was that on this printer when it was getting low on ink it would tell you. and once it had run out you needed to buy more. now this is not really odd or bad, but in this case the ink hadn’t actually run out, it just told me it had according to it’s printing stats. same with the drum actually. so often I had to throw out a toner cartridge with perfectly good toner in it because the printer was convinced it was empty. the old printer told me ink was low but let me print forever. I’d take the cartridge out and shake it and bang the next 5 sheets were good as new.
it pissed me off so much that you could buy a product but couldn’t use it like you wanted.

and I’ve had two home printers worth mentioning only they’re not. they were both cheap ink jets – like the cheap one that started this intelligent discussion – and I don’t know why I didn’t realise that the reason they are so cheap is because you spend so much money on ink. at least I’m not buying brand ink but the printing sucks and they don’t work well and install shit on your computer blah blah


it’s much more expensive to buy a laser printer but in the long run they are so much better than an ink jet style one. but ink jets are much cheaper and if you only print occasionally it’s probably a better choice

real conclusion

printers are a boring AS FUCK topic so please get on with your life I hope you didn’t read any of this


2 Comments so far
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Comment by dangercore

LOL I actually only read the ‘real conclusion’ at the end. Boy am I glad I did!

Comment by Lois Weathers

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