otago massacre

the clone wars by loisweathers
March 14, 2009, 5:00 pm
Filed under: student life | Tags: , ,

poasted by lois weathers

Now I’m not one to throw around words like ‘dipshit’ and ‘ass mongrel’, but when it comes to first year students (predominantly those from a hall) few other words can describe what I feel when I’m forced to talk to them

Now being a first year (in a way I’m a self hater) I come into contact with what I affectionately call ‘the clones’ on an hourly basis. And in this “article” I will share with you my rash, unsubstantiated observations on the clone wars

Now I call them clones for the obvious reason that they all dress and speak the same. It’s almost as if they have their own language. In the first two weeks of semester one I have found a whole new use of the english language. Of course ot’s wrong and you should never ever say “Yea, I done that” because it makes everyone around you want to knife you in the face

Now the ‘clone wars’ is the hilarious fact that each hall not only has their own wee cliques within the halls, but that the halls have fights with other halls! Now I hear that none of the other halls like Arana. God knows why, mainly no-one cares. But it’s almost like a soap opera that you can’t escape from, it’s always there everywhere, all the time. Are you getting me?

(Now I don’t want to be sexist as I’m sure the boys are just as bad, but being of the female gender I am in close proximity to them more.) The girls seem to have two emotions, excited (usually about the next hall party) and hungover (because of the hall party). Now don’t get me wrong, I’m all for the parties. But constantly talking about it and how awesome it was and drunk you got and how that skank from Arana made out with that guy you like and how hungover you now are just tends to get on others nerves just a little bit

death becomes her

death becomes her

Now if you read this and know exactly who I’m talking about and think as fondly of them as I do then congratulations, you’re a norm. If you want to find some of your kind we usually hang out in the library with our ipod ears in but we’re actually listening to music, come over for a chat! If you read this and it sounds like you, then maybe you learnt that people hate you, and shutup in class. If you’re in a hall and feel I have unjustifiably stereotyped you, then it is your job to prove me wrong.
Thanks for reading – Lois Weathers


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