otago massacre

critic cavern 09/03/09 by ophalm
March 9, 2009, 8:57 pm
Filed under: entertainment, mockery, uni

once again the print shop shits out another episode of critic. it’s not actually as disgusting as shit but what is this:
apparently we’re all 12 year old girls who love juicy gossip – and being told what is juicy. like this:
this hot or not bullshit has to stop! I am glad they used the phrase “slops on” but somehow they’re giving themselves credit for the de-octopussing of the cook. they obviously didn’t read my brutal remarks which I like to think was the real cause.

aaah the capping show. the capping show is about being offensive and having nothing out of bounds. that’s why I’m going to rip the shit out of it – because I know they’d do the same for me. did I mention the capping show is about being offensive? it’s not that it is offensive, it’s just that the entire point of the show is to offend. to offend 19 year olds. by swearing and tasteless rape jokes. the absolute pinacle of humour. I also feel it will have something to do with ghost busters and maybe thinking of offensive jokes.
I’m not saying it’s not funny, it’s got some humourous parts do not get me wrong. but don’t expect more than the combined efforts of tweens sitting around trying to be as offensive as possible. I like it how they used the offensive logo three times in the one ad

they have quite a good article about veges. and growing them. they deserve some credit, and I hope they realise I don’t hate critic. it’s better than womans day or the polytech’s magazine but everyone deserves to be brought down a peg and who critiques the critics? I do that’s who. and our tall poppy syndrome isn’t going to perpetuate itself



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Just like everything else in the pathetic student rag, Critic’s gardening article was shit. I got as far as reading the “What to plant in March” section, where it told me to plant nothing.

What Critic doesn’t want you to know is that this month in sunny Dunedin we can plant lettuce, silverbeet, broccoli, radishes, leeks, onions, broad beans, peas, cauliflower, spinach, carrots and a shit tonne of other awesome stuff.

Critic wants us to be vege-less so that our minds are weak from hunger, because this is surely the only state of mind in which a reader would find Critic to be entertaining.

Comment by Sarah

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