otago massacre

critic cavern 04/03/09 by ophalm
March 4, 2009, 7:42 pm
Filed under: entertainment, mockery, uni | Tags:

well I don’t know if it’s the first episode of critic for the year but it’s the first week of semester so it probably is. they sent me a copy for my approval and the first thing I notice was this

critic approves of the veronicas

critic approves of incestual popstars

not only do they obviously have no integrity by approving of the veronicas (they try to deny their cooperation with the promoters but I can see through it) but their disapproval of the cook is over 2 weeks older than my hard hitting ‘review’. weak and slow critic

on page 15 we have a nice wee article spinning a fine yarn about the failure of travel insurance. but what is missing from this article? the offending insurance company that’s who. if they did such a shitty job of not paying for your passport and camera why not mention who it is so we can choose to not buy insurance from them! free market bitches

according to page 12 summer school is apparently for learning. you’d believe so if you read their article on that. the truth is though, and they seem to have missed these important points, is that summer school means student allowance and also a chance to repeat failed papers. and some students said the cramped style of summer school (one semester in six weeks) meant they were “going away tired but happy”.. fuck off. I did summer school, it wasn’t hard. it was a hell of a lot easier than juggling different papers. having small classes often meant you remembered it easily. I’m not criticising summer school, summer school is great, I’m criticising people who can’t handle it. what did these people do with their parents while they were growing up?

all in all critic is critic, only it has a bling logo and ads like a mother fucker. they have a referral to their horrible website too. if you’re an avid follower of critic cavern you know that already though.

so keep reading critic, you have nothing better to do, but don’t believe it’s lies. there is only one real source of truth at uni – thinking for yourselves!


2 Comments so far
Leave a comment

Summer school really does mean student allowance 6 weeks early. Im surprised more kids didnt do it for precisely that.

Comment by lois

because they’re not aware that it’s primarily a cash cow

Comment by ophalm

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