otago massacre


tales from the pit of despair II by ophalm
February 24, 2009, 10:12 pm
Filed under: terrible fiction | Tags:

giving you the worst even though you don’t want it

Guess who I met today
I was in a local healthy/expensive type supermarket here in Shackleton (we have a lot of those) and I’m in line to buy some ham at the deli there. The lady asked me what kind, and I said “I have no idea what different kinds of ham there are lady” ENTIRELY too loudly and the guy behind me in the line noticed burst the hell up laughing.

I turn around. Steve Martin.

He kinda half leans around me and says “Honey glazed” to the lady over the counter and I just kinda stare at him for a sec then smile and say thanks. I’m about to pay for it and he says “No way this one’s on me” and pays the woman for it right there. I was astounded – I thought you had pay at the checkout; and it was so awesome that I did the only thing I could think of … The Three Amigos salute. Once again he cracks up and asked me if I had any idea how long it had been since someone did that. I said “a year?” he said “try ten”.

We ended up having coffee at a place across the street. Turns out he bought a house in Monticeto, a really expensive residensial area in SB, and has been living here a while. We talked about everything that wasn’t his career for about 45 miniutes before he had to take off because his deli stuff was gonna go bad. I shook his hand and said he made my year today. He smiled and beat my head in with a tire iron.

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