otago massacre

ScrumpV is the 09 drink of the year by ophalm
February 22, 2009, 12:23 pm
Filed under: drugs, philosophy, student life | Tags: ,

as long as people have been drinking, people have been challenging the status quo about what to drink. it used to be beer/wine/mead and then spirits came on the scene. many years passed and with the boom in teenage drinking such concepts as RTDs came about and none of this is relevant really to the fact that every year a drink stands above the rest and claims the following year for itself.

2009 is the year of ScrumpV and what sets ScrumpV above the rest is that not only is it a drink, it’s a process

so we’ve got scrumpy. it’s not just a brand, it’s a style of cider. it’s alcoholic and somewhat bitter

and we’ve got V. everyone knows what this is.

so what’s ScrumpV then? if I had to put it into words I’d say it was a mixture of the two, but are words enough?
it’s not just the combination, but the way the combination is formulated. see, anyone with a brain can see that you can’t fit a can of V into a bottle of scrumpy. you could pour it into a glass, but then it wouldn’t be ScrumpV and it would simply be lame.
so what you do, is you take a sip of your scrumpy. whenever there is some room left at the top of the bottle (as the case would be if you sipped like I just told you to) you pour some V in. so slowly the drink transforms from scrumpy and a can of V to ScrumpV. when does this transition occur? when does it change? a philosopher has debated this recently and has come to no conclusion, apart from to say that afterwards, it is certain that ScrumpV had occurred.

some people often ask me what ratio of scrumpy to V. this is open to interpretation but there are clear upper and lower bounds. no less than one 250ml can and no more than one 500ml can per one bottle of scrumpy. this might sound like tight regulations but life isn’t easy.

so there you go. 09 drink of the year. send in your photos of you drinking ScrumpV and I’ll send you an old magazine


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